That Time I Broke My Wrist

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It’s true.  I broke my wrist.

The right one.

I wish I could tell you that I got into a heated debate regarding the merits of placing college graduates in low-income public schools (it’s happened) or the reasons why Shark Fin soup should be outlawed (leave the sharks alone!).  I wish I could tell you that no choice was left on my side (for the good of society) but to conk someone in the face at the expense of my wrist.

NAH.

That would be too easy.

I fell doing the running man while rocking out to Russian pop hits of the 1980s on a docked (read: not moving) boat in a still harbor on Lake Michigan.

Obviously this is how it was going to go down.

22 years of hurling my body at great speeds at the ice rink didn’t do the trick.

At some point I had to break something right??  Just to right the world of falling down karma.

It finally happened.

At first I was in denial and kept moving about as usual (OH the blue and black marks on my arm… just a bruise!).

But then the blue wouldn’t go away and a few too many days later I found myself at the ER at the urging of friends, family, co-workers, my doorman and the homeless man outside Wholefoods.

So imagine my surprise when the ER doc told me it was FRACTURED.

I thought she was kidding.

She realized I thought she was kidding.

So she took me back to the x-ray lab to show me the x-rays on the special computer.

SO… she wasn’t kidding.

Clearly my first reaction was to assume this woman was a magician:

“Oh a splint and then possibly a cast??  BUT there are only 4 weeks left of the summer!  I can’t have a broken wrist!  I don’t think you understand.”

Unfortunately she didn’t use her magic wand to piece it back together.

So that sucks.

But I can still have the most Awesome end of summer EVER.  Right?

Right.

First things first.  I needed advice on how to proceed with the arm situation.  So naturally I called little bro for advice.

  • Me: little bro I broke my wrist
  • Bro: you’ll be fine
  • Me: How am I supposed to go to the beach?!
  • Bro: Tie a bag around it
  • Me: What bag?
  • Bro: A Walgreens bag
  • Me: Silence
  • Bro:  Or a black garbage bag.  If you want to keep it classy
  • Me: Love you

I’m a broken wrist rookie.  Lucky for me, I have plenty of friends around who “have frequent flyer miles to the ER” (exact statement by one of my friends).  So clearly I checked in with them.

All in all though, I’ve been stumbling and learning as I go.

Things I’ve learned:

  1. The iPhone Voice-Text/E-mail option MUST have been created by someone who had just broken their wrist.  I have a sneaky suspicion that my new addiction to voice-dictation will stay with me for some time to come.
  2. The hardest thing in this world to do without the full dexterity of your wrist… is put on a bra.  Stupid complicated little suckers.  (And while we’re at it… bathing suits…can’t tie those damn ties).
  3. Typing.  Really need two hands.  Or an intern.  hmmmm.
  4. Dining in nice restaurants is awkward.  As in I shouldn’t be allowed.  The display of eating like a total train wreck is a special experience for everyone.
  5. Opening Jars.  Just forget it.
  6. Getting caught in the rain.  Two words: Not. Good.
  7. The game of Cornhole/bag toss/bags can totally still be played with the use of the opposite arm.  You might hit pedestrians and your own partner in the head, but that’s really just part of the fun.
  8. Dishwashers are right up there with voice dictation software.

I shed half a tear, pooled moral support and moved forward on my quest to become ambidextrous.

The future isn’t looking as bleak now that I know I can:

Still see the Chicago skyline from the back of a boat:

chicago boating skyline

And do crossword puzzles:

boating

And attend firm-sponsored  networking events where I eat too much food:

photo 3

And read trash magazines where I gain wisdom and perspective about why it’ll be OK to turn 30 in a couple years:

photo 1 (4)

The only thing that makes breaking a limb better … is one of your besties injuring something too.  (What? Yes. This is my selfish moment.)

Lucky for me, one of my friends just sprained her ankle and was outfitted with non-other than a black brace.

The walk to this morning’s brunch date was classic.  Me with my splint.  She with hers.  Me holding my arm up.  She limping like a champ.  I’m not gonna lie.  It was adorable.  And A-B-S-O-L-U-T-L-Y ridiculous.  At one point we crossed the street and were walking head on with a girl who appeared to have just gotten some kind of ACL reconstructive surgery.

We almost invited her to brunch.

At some point, during the walk back, laughing close to tears, I decided it was going to be OK.

And that’s…. pretty Awesome.

*Note: this post was written largely with my left hand.  Which is why it took about 5 days to write.  That’s how much I love all of you.  You’re welcome.

*Note 2: clearly there will now be a Broken Wrist Series of sorts… stay tuned.

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33 thoughts on “That Time I Broke My Wrist

    • I KNOW. It was my biggest fear. Mike was super stressed and felt terrible about my wrist and I was freaking out because I thought he wouldn’t let me go boating again. hahaha. Can’t keep me from boating!

  1. Also, my friend from the gym just broke her foot. You’d think it would be because of crazy Crossfit stuff, but nope, it’s cause she was walking down the stairs to get groceries! And she lives in the third floor of a house! I think she’s stuck in her room forever!

    • What is happening! That’s terrible. You should bring her some stuff. Let’s not forget that Christina hit herself in the face with a tennis racket. The injuries just keep coming!

  2. OUCH! Hope it gets better soon. I’m taking your wrist isn’t in a sling – been there done that, it was only for 3 days and I nearly killed myself but it was a great excuse not to write/type 😉

    • Thanks!!! It is not in a sling… holy cow don’t scare me. I’m seeing the ortho surgeon tomorrow. I am hoping I don’t need anything more than this splint!! (wishful thinking?)

      • Hopefully the worst they will do is put a cast on you. If they didn’t put a sling on you at first they probably won’t now and I’m sure they would’ve told you if you needed anything more serious at the ER 😉

  3. And also this other girl I know who moved to Chicago a few months ago is also popping in up Facebook pics with a crazy elbow cast thing! I going to wrap myself in bubble wrap to be safe! 🙂

  4. As much as I’m sure it sucks that wrist armor looks pretty nice. People may think you’re some sort of fighter or a professional bowler who takes things very seriously. Much better than my air cast I had after I got my normal cast taken off my leg. That was just silly.

    Best of luck to you in your recovery.

    • I’ve always wanted to be a fighter who took thing seriously!! Air cast huh… now there’s one I haven’t seen (I’ve now gone through 3 splints)… what does that entail? Sounds like something I might want to add to my list of things I need to try while injured. haha. THANKS!

  5. I don’t want to like this post because I don’t like people getting injured but this post gave me my first laughs of the day. I once broke my left elbow trying to ride a skim board and it was not a fun experience. Hope you feel better soon.

    • I’m so glad you thought it was funny! I think sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself and the situation. What’s a girl to do when she’s dancing with her friends and slips?? haha. I hope it heals soon but until then I did get a cool custom splint outfitted with neon pink. So I’m feeling good about that :). Thanks again for reading and your blog is Awesome!!

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